Today, I sat down for a live conversation with Magdalena Ponorska of Courage to Create, and honestly? I almost backed out.
Not because I didn’t have anything to say. I had too much. And some of it I hadn’t said out loud in a while.
We talked about my marriage. My divorce. The 15 years I spent out of the workforce — and the terrifying, humbling, ultimately transformative experience of rebuilding my career in my 40s. We talked about the book I’m writing (more on that in a second). And we talked about the thing I now believe more than almost anything else:
The outer work doesn’t move until the inner work does.
I learned this the hard way. I was doing all the “right” things: networking, attending reunions, sending emails, putting myself out there. And things were moving... slowly. Almost imperceptibly.
It wasn’t until I stopped obsessing over what he was doing and started asking who am I, really, and what am I here to do — that things began to open up. Opportunities arrived. Doors I didn’t even knock on swung open.
I don’t think that was a coincidence.
I think that’s how this works.
The book I’m writing is a fictional story rooted in what I lived; the love bombing, the gaslighting, the slow erosion of self-trust that comes when someone convinces you that you can’t believe your own eyes. I’m writing it because I know I’m not the only one who’s been there. And I know that sometimes we see ourselves most clearly in a story that isn’t technically ours.
If any of this resonates — if you’re in the middle of your own reinvention, your own “wait, who am I now?” season — I want you to know you’re not behind. You’re not too late. And you’re not alone.
Watch the full conversation above. ⬆️
And if something lands for you, reply and tell me. I read every message.
— Ana
